Hi, I am so glad you are here. If you are reading this then you want to know why I really do this (the long version). Well first, thank you for asking. The straight forward, honest reason for the blog, the Blessing Shop, the website, the ministries, the teaching, the speaking, the writing, the book on its way…all of it, is because I must.
You see, it really is His Ministries, His blog, His Shop, His gifts, all that I do is unto Him, for Him, by Him, by His grace and most of all, by His Spirit that is within me. I have chosen and said Yes to the Lord.
What an honor, what amazing Grace, that He who flung all the stars into the sky and called them each by name, He Who created the heavens and the earth and everything in it, would want to know me and you! As I meditate on these words, His Truth, His Holy Word, He Himself, I am continually in awe, humbled, astonished, utterly amazed….
Love Himself, Perfect, Pure, Powerful, Holy, Love actually came to die for me and for you! So I must make clear as I share how I must do this…this “must” is based on a clear understanding that the Lord Himself is not making me, no, He gives us freewill choice.
He did not create us as robots. He is not a dictator. No, not my Abba Father. He desires us to choose to love Him, to choose Him. So while I say I must, I need to preface first by saying, I get to.
Lord Jesus has stolen my heart. The Lover of my soul. Therefore, with total certainty, with my whole heart and being, I choose Him, I say Yes, Lord, and now, with Him being the joy set before me, I don’t only get to, but I must….
And those whom He predestined He also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified (Romans 8:30).
To this purpose I also labor, striving according to HIS POWER, which MIGHTILY WORKS WITHIN me (Colossians 1:29) (Emphasis mine).
And…now…I am finally doing it. I mean completely now. I am purposefully, intentionally, obediently, stepping out into this unknown new territory of the blogosphere, the social media sphere, even now into NEW ministry, a new church without walls, a Holy Spirit ministry training school on the way.
I have exited the four walls that I have been used to, the building, where I became accustomed to preaching, teaching, training and equipping, the familiar faces, the safe church env’t where you know people are there because they have chosen to be. You know the people support you.
Now I have stepped out, I have said Yes Lord, You have bid me to step out of the boat, not part way, but both feet out and to walk on the water. I am now doing and sharing the depths of what He wants, not what I am only comfortable with. Not what is easier or acceptable with the majority. Not based on what people think. Not screened by me and Him, but screened only by Him.
No more hiding, no more holding back. No more fear. No more silence. I know now, it is time. I must. I must allow His Holy Spirit within me have full reign…I must…because He must….
My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my verses to the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer (Psalm 45:1).
I love all things Jesus. I can’t help it. It just comes out. It’s not an exaggeration either. I’m not just saying it to say it. It’s the miraculous truth. My friends will attest to it. My family will attest to it. My students will attest to it. My pastor will attest to it.
Honestly, I am actually utterly amazed because I see where He has taken me from. I know who I used to be and who I am now, in Him, through Him, all because of Him. Jesus is my Life. He is My Love. I am in love with Him. I am continually in awe that He says He is also in love with me. Selah.
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…(Songs of Solomon 6:3).
When I communicate, teach, pour out in whatever I’m doing, or wherever I’m going, I now know that Lord Jesus is with me and I am so immensely grateful. I talk with Him. I listen to Him. I pray to Him. I talk about Him. I think about Him. I sing to Him and He to me. I write about Him. I teach about Him. I speak about Him. I want to be with Him. I have my whole being in Him and He in me. I can’t get enough of Him. Jesus is my Life. It is all about Him.
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple (Psalm 27:4).
It was not always this way. It has been a long, hard process. I have walked through countless keyholes, been in the midst of many fiery furnaces and had plenty of my own red seas. I have been neck deep in the miry muck and barely able to keep my head above water as billows were overtaking me like David penned in the psalms.
The intimacy that is developed in this amount of horrifying tribulation is miraculously beautiful. You cannot put a price on it. While we may hate it, and want to get out of it, we cannot deny that deep intimacy and revelation with the Lord is birthed and even brought forth out of these places.
I remember reading one time years ago about trees that are on top of mountains and higher elevations. These are the trees that have no protection in the harsh elements. They have no covering, no valleys to hide in, no houses to help take part of the hit. Because of this, they are forced to grow deeper and stronger roots. The roots must run deep or they will not be able to withstand the violent storms.
Indeed, in the seemingly unending abysses, the violent storms, the midst of the unimaginable, my own roots had to go way deeper in the Lord and His Word to survive. It has been in these places that I have learned with certainty that He is the only One that is Trustworthy. He is the only One that is Faithful. He is the only One that died for me. He is the only One that saved me and will save me still. He is for me not against me. He is Love. He is Grace. He is Mercy. He is my Righteousness. He is my Sanctification. He is my Redemption. He is my Healer. He is my Protector. He is my Refuge. He is the Answer. He is the Solution. He is the Living Word. He is the Lover of my soul. He my Everything. He is Who He says He is. He is my Lord, God and King.
Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you (Psalm 63:3).
The truth is, I wholeheartedly want Him to have every inch of me. I want every part of my being to be His, every pore to shine forth His Presence, His glory. Oh, that He may operate through me by His power, as He wills it, at any given time…at any given moment! Selah. He deserves nothing less.
Yes. I am wonderfully, achingly, passionately, gratefully, on fire, head over heels in love with My Beloved Jesus. He is My Everything. I am pursuing Him, He is pursuing me. It astonishes me. It excites me. It bewilders me. It scares me. It overwhelms me, He…overwhelms me.
You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes (Songs of Solomon 4:9).
The glory that You have given to Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are One; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me (John 17:22-23).
From all that I have been through in my life, I know with absolute certainty that I can’t live without Jesus. I am keenly aware that I am nothing without Him. I need Him every moment.
Not just on Sundays. Not just on Wednesdays. Not even just a bible study for a few months. Take the summer off? What? No way. I need and want Jesus continually. I don’t want a break! And you know what? I am so grateful that this is the case.
I am so thankful that finally at this point in my journey, by the grace of God, I realize more than ever before, what a gift this is, what a Gift He is. Nothing and no one can compare to His Presence…nothing can even come close.
What is even more astonishing is that, this is actually right where God wants me. And it’s where He wants you too. This is what He wants, constant communion with Him. Communion by His Spirit that works so powerfully within us. If only we will agree with Him, if we will truly submit to His ways that are above our ways, His thoughts that are above our thoughts. If we can just receive true revelation of His love for us. Oh the things He can and will do!
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us (Ephesians 3:20).
I pray daily for my desire and intent to be His desire and intent…for it to be properly aligned with His…to be intertwined with His. For it to be interwoven into a beautiful tapestry of His perfect pleasing, joyful will for my life and to His good pleasure!
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2).
Oh how I long to bless Him, to be the apple of His eye, to be submitted to His Holy Spirit, to be obedient and to speak, write, create, communicate, whatever it is that He wants me to do by His Holy Spirit within me. Beside He Himself, I want His Will to be done more than anything.
To this purpose I also labor, striving according to HIS POWER, which MIGHTILY WORKS WITHIN me (Colossians 1:29) (Emphasis mine).
So you see, I must do what He asks, I must speak what He speaks, I must do what I see My Abba Father doing. I must write it. I must create it. I must design it. Whatever it is, I must let Him do it all through me by His Holy Spirit. I must allow and submit to Him.
I must be a willing vessel for My Master’s use, the clay in the Potter’s hands. I must be about my Father’s business. For that is what He has called me to do. He deserves My all. Yet I don’t have to, I get to. I want to please Him and bring joy to Him. I can’t imagine wanting anything else.
We have freewill choice, we get to choose. He loves us that much. He does not want robots. He wants us to choose Him. So I have chosen and so can you beloved, you can choose too. I say, “Yes Lord.” I must do my part, because I love Him and He loves me.
It does not matter how large or how small, no matter how insignificant it may seem. I must be the part of the body of Christ He has created me to be and you must be the part He has created you to be. It is our responsibility. Why? Because HE has told us that every part in the body of Christ matters, that We are needed, that You are needed, that I am needed.
He has said, that for the Body of Christ to function properly, attain unity, maturity and be effective Your part and My part needs to be doing what it is created to do. For this to happen, we must be submitted fully to the Head, of the Body, Who is the Lord Jesus Christ.
You are needed. I am needed…because He says We are.
And HE GAVE the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, TO EQUIP the SAINTS FOR the WORK of MINISTRY, for BUILDING UP the BODY of CHRIST, UNTIL we ALL ATTAIN to the UNITY of the FAITH and of the KNOWLEDGE of the Son of God, to MATURE manhood, to the MEASURE of the stature of the FULLNESS of Christ…
SO THAT we may NO longer BE children, TOSSED to and fro by the waves and carried about by EVERY wind of doctrine, BY human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.
Rather, SPEAKING the TRUTH in LOVE, we are to GROW UP in EVERY way into HIM Who is the Head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, JOINED and held TOGETHER by EVERY joint with which it is EQUIPPED, when each PART is working PROPERLY, makes the BODY GROW so that it BUILDS itself up in love. (Ephesians 4:11-16) (EMPHASIS MINE)
Therefore, you and I must receive and agree with this Truth, His Truth. This awesome, alarming, amazing, astonishing, terrifying, beautiful, powerful, life-changing Truth and then, we must agree with it. We are loved, We are valued. We are needed. He has chosen us. He wants us. He wants intimate personal loving relationship with us. He wants to do exploits through us by His Spirit!
I know, I know, but we must reject all lies Beloved. No matter how hard our Hearts want to wrestle with bare hands against this Truth…raw, bare, bloody, scarred, swollen hands. Accusing, desperate, pummeled Heart Hands that scream from deep within, “How can this be True, is this real, then why?! Where were You!”
Heart Hands that know no other way to communicate the fear, the torment, the pain, the torture, the betrayal, the confusion, the “why’s,” except by swinging frantically, desperately, intensely, against this Truth…this Truth that should have been there. This Truth that should have prevented it. This Truth that should have protected us…that should have come sooner.
And yet…these same hands bursting out of this heart…swinging, thundering, blaming, warring, defending, all the while, want with everything that is within them, to be wrong, to have this Love, this Truth, utterly defeat it.
Oh that Love would triumph with a unswerving, passionate, trustworthy, crushing declaration:
“Yes, it is true. I AM True. I AM Love and I Love YOU and will always love you. I AM the One Who Saved you. You don’t need to wonder anymore. See My Love at the cross. See My Sacrifice. See My Blood poured out for YOU Beloved.”
These vulnerable Heart Hands…these fragile, tender, loving, gentle, tired, courageous, strong, gracious, long suffering, persevering, beaten up, beautiful, yearning hands. Oh, that they may finally know with certainty, Yes, His love toward us is true….
It is true. He did come. This Love personified. He, is Truth. What He says, is Truth. His Pure, Holy, Amazing, Faithful, Unconditional, Fiery Passionate, Personal Love, won’t ever let us go…won’t ever stop pursuing us. This Love. He, was not the One Who left me for dead. He, was not the One Who left you for dead. I was wrong. You were wrong. We were wrong.
The Truth is, this Love, He, Who is Love…He cried for me, He cried for you. He wept uncontrollably, passionately, genuinely for us and with us. This Love sacrificed all of Himself for us.
For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin (Hebrews 4:15 AMP).
He had His flesh whipped, striped, tortured, ripped off with catty nine tails. This raw, bare, bloody, scarred, swollen Love, went to the ground on His knees. He was engulfed in torment, bombarded by terror, crying out in agony, to the point of sweating blood. And yet, He said we were the joy set before Him, that He Who was Pure and Innocent went through these things for us.
“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done…”And BEING IN AGONY He prayed more earnestly; and His SWEAT became like great DROPS OF BLOOD falling down to the ground (Luke 22:42,44).
His appearance was so marred, beyond human semblance, and his form beyond that of the children of mankind…(Isaiah 52:14).
The Truth is, this Submitting, Humble, Astonishing Selfless Love, Who gave all of Himself so that I, so that you, so that we, may be saved and delivered. This Love came and fought, roared on our behalf, and did not let the waves overtake us or engulf us.
No, the Truth is, Love Himself didn’t do these evil things we accuse Him of. That is the lie. That is mistaken identity. It was not Him, not Love that did it. Oh precious heart of mine, oh precious heart of yours…listen, it was not Him, it was not Love Himself that tried to destroy us. That is a lie. A lie from the pit of hell. A lie from the very place that Love delivered us from by shedding His own innocent blood.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10).
So you see, I must…and Beloved, I believe you must too. We, must.
So you see, I must…and Beloved, I believe you must too. We, must. It is the least we can do for the One Who gave His All for us. And how could we not want to do this with joy, humility and with a thankful heart? He, Who took the cruel nails, hammered, driven, deep through His Beautiful Loving Life-Giving Hands. His Fragile, Tender, Loving, Gentle, Courageous, Strong, Gracious, Long suffering, Powerful, Persevering, Humble, Giving HANDS….
He, Who’s eyes burned with fiery passion and would not relent until His raw, bare, bloody, scarred, swollen Hands took hold of our raw, bare, bloody, scarred, swollen hands, to rescue us, to pull us up and out of the miry muck. Out of the abyss of terror, hell and darkness…out of the torturous pit we were dying in. The Truth is He was the One Who Delivered us, He Saved us.
He brought me up out of the PIT of DESTRUCTION, out of the miry clay and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm (Psalm 40:2).
He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son (Colossians 1:13).
The Truth is, He, Who is Love, pursued us and He still pursues us. He will never stop. So you see, I must and you must. We must purpose ourselves, and set our eyes like flint on Him, on Love Himself. We must choose to trust Him Who is Trustworthy and Faithful. Love Who proved Himself when He did not have to, for He is God Almighty.
We must choose to be determined to persevere, to stand and fight the good fight of faith. And when we have done everything to stand, we must stand, therefore. Why? Because, He tells us to and we love Him. We trust Him. All that He is, we can rest in and know His Word is and He is True. He is the Living Word. He is Faithful.
This then is the message which we have heard from Him and declare unto you: that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5).
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore…(Ephesians 6:13-14).
We will not do this by our own strength…I will and You will, do it by His Strength, by His Spirit that works so mightily within us. Beloved, we will do it together, as we have been called to, helping to hold each other’s arms up, standing on the Word of God, praying on all occasions and for each other, in the Spirit as He has told us to.
With all prayer and petition pray [with specific requests] at all times [on every occasion and in every season] in the Spirit, and with this in view, stay alert with all perseverance and petition [interceding in prayer] for all God’s people (Ephesians 6:18 AMP).
We will do it, crying, laughing, teaching, correcting, loving, in anguish, in joy, on the mountaintops and in the valleys, we will because we must, because we choose Him. We must, because He must, and because, He did.
We will do it because He Loves us and we Love Him. We will do it because we choose to do so, because that is what love does. We will do it because He came for us. When we were rebelling against Him, dead in our sin, He died for us.
We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19)
We will do it because God is Love. His Heart is Full. Perfect. Loving. True. Selfless. Sacrificial. Willing. Humble. Powerful. Gracious. For He does not want anyone to perish.
The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).
These prayer soaked, love soaked, Holy Spirit soaked products, pure writings, blog, teachings…all of it… are all unto Him, by Him, to Him, because of Him. None of this is meant to be ordinary, because there is nothing ordinary about My Abba Father, nothing. He is God Almighty Himself. It, is all His. I, am all His.
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…(Songs of Solomon 6:3).
Therefore, in the midst of the arrows, I must. In the midst of the tears, I must. In the midst of the cheers, I must. In the midst of the pain and exhaustion I must. In the midst of the haters, I must. In the midst of the heartache, I must. In the midst of the glory, I must. In the midst of the silence, I must. In the midst of the crowd, I must. In the midst of the strangers, I must. In the midst of my friends and family, I must. In the midst of sleepless nights, I must. In the midst of victory and mountaintops, I must. In the midst of the valleys and despair, I must.
In the midst of the unknown, I must – now step out of the boat like Peter by faith that I may walk on the water, because My Lord, My Beloved, My Savior My Everything, the Lover of My Soul, My King Jesus Christ, has bid me too. So I must because I love Him. I must, because He must and He is God.
I must because He must and He is God.
I will not apology or be ashamed, nor will I be silenced any longer for Who God is and Who He created me to be in Him. He must burst forth through me to His glory, for His Kingdom, for His purpose, for His perfect pleasing will and even to His good pleasure. He is the One Who is God, not me. I must because He did. If it is His will and what He wants, then may His will be done in Jesus’ Name amen.
“…yet not My will, but Yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)
In His Love, Forever His,
~ Sybella Owens